MIXTAPE: “Hopelessly Foolishly”

u move me

Duration: 1:23:34

I am (had been should be) working on this comic/picture book tentatively titled A History of My Love Life, As My Life. Or maybe I’ll go with Sunny’s suggestion, a comic that interweaves the parallels between my mother’s love life and my own – v freudian – which I like only because it would probably be more interesting… Let’s just say that mine on its own is not very exciting. My “love life” has essentially consisted of, since age seven or eight, boys mostly and sometimes girls liking me and me not liking them back and doing unto them this *both-palms-pushing-away motion*. I don’t know how others feel, but I’ve never liked the attention and am rarely flattered by it– since loving has always been to me infinitely more fun than being loved. In fact, people who like me (&whom I don’t like back) have always made me feel bad. This because I can empathize, because I know what it feels like. The few people I happened to have ever liked in my life (because I’m a weirdo who’s rarely attracted to anyone – that’s the point of this comic!) either did not love me back enough and|or, by the simple misfortune of intractable timing, were already committed to someone else.**

/** Which big-shot theorist was it wrote about the fraught ethics (arbitrariness?) of our loyalty to the person who happens to have appeared in our lives first and assumed the place of our lover first, whom we prioritize wholly or merely by virtue of their first-ness, by their circumstantial apparition before this other person, a later-met person who may be in every way equally or more so our match? Hmmmmmm… please, if you know, do comment thanks./

I would say this mix is my apology letter to anyone who’s ever had a crush on me, but I don’t want to encourage things… really it’s for me &mine a love letter. This mix is for you too if, despite all the (unwanted) attention, you still feel like » that kid « that kid who could and would never get what s/he wants ♥

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original album art by moi

At-a-glance: sappy sappy sappy sweet sentimental non-gender-specific open desire

Caution: do not listen if you don’t wanna sink deep n never get over someone — this is designed to make matters worse.

00/ Artist – Song
 
01/ Sourpatch – Crushin’

02/ Beat Happening – Bewitched

03/ Coasting – Hots for Teacher

04/ Sonic Youth – Starpower

05/ Black Tambourine – I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

06/ Sonic Youth – Superstar (Carpenters cover)

07/ Happy Birthday – Subliminal Message

08/ Black Tambourine – Dream Baby Dream

09/ Velvet Underground & Nico – I’ll Be Your Mirror

10/ Gael García Bernal, Alain Chabat, Aurélia Petit, Sacha Bourdo – If You Rescue Me (The Science of Sleep Soundtrack)

11/ Sinéad O’Connor – You Do Something To Me

12/ Raleigh Moncrief – I Just Saw

13/ The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – Coral and Gold

14/ The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – Falling Over

15/ Jens Lekman – A Postcard to Nina

16/ Yuck – Georgia

17/ Black Tambourine – Black Car

18/ The Smiths – There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

19/ Felt – Fortune

20/ The Cranberries – (They Long To Be) Close To You

21/ Nancy Sinatra – Love Eyes

22/ The Gems – I Can’t Help Myself

23/ Sam Cooke – You Send Me

24/ Patsy Cline – I Fall to Pieces

25/ Andy Williams – Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

26/ Gigi – Won’t Someone Tell Me? (ft. Mirah)

27/ The Magnetic Fields – The Book of Love

File under: indiepop, twee, noise pop, lo-fi, pop, rock, indie, alt, post-punk, punk, garage, soul, country, honky tonk, electronic, folk, dance, irish, english, nyc, chicago, olympia, maryland, sacramento, swedish, french, mexican, german, 90s, 00s, 60s

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